Tag: parenting

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Preparing your child for the first day of ‘Big School’

It’s normal to feel a bit anxious before sending your child off to big school. As a parent, you want to be certain that your child is able to adapt to the new change and a different classroom environment.

As the holiday comes to an end, it’s completely natural for children to experience nervousness, especially since the children are entering a more structured routine after being on holiday. Some children might be welcoming to the change while others need more guidance to acclimatise. 

Below you will find a some tips on getting ready for the first day of big school.

1. Read books about starting school

Seeing a character that the child relates to are useful for relieving first day anxiety. It’s also handy to ask your child questions about the character’s experience and the solutions the character might have. 

See our choices below;

2. Start with your routine before the holiday ends

Getting up early again is tough… for everyone and may stir up some negative emotions just before the first day of school. Get the evening and early morning going again and make your expectations around this time clear. Your children are about the enter a structured day, ease them into it with your own structure at home. 

3. Organise a playdate with someone you know will be in the same grade

In a changing environment, a familiar face can offer some assurance. It may be worthwhile to organise a playdate with a friend the same age that might be in the same grade. They would both be going through change together and can support each other through it.

4. Create a fun goodbye routine

Be positive in your goodbye, children feed off of your energy. If you are anxious or upset, your child will most likely be too. Save the tears for the car. We know it’s tough, but the more excited and positive you are, the easier it is for your child.

Create a secret handshake, a saying, or have a song you always play before you say goodbye. This creates really positive feelings and is a great bonding experience.

Drop and Go

As hard as it is, it’s best to drop and go. The longer you hang around, the more anxious and nervous your child gets. They will be confident in their new environment if you are.

5. Try and get to school before class starts

Being late and walking in while everyone is already settled creates a lot of anxiety. Try your best to get to school early until your child has settled at the school

6. Pack a really fun lunch

Seeing your favourite snacks really puts a smile on that dial. You can even leave a note or draw a picture on a post-it that may reassure your child that you are close by. 

7. Try again tomorrow

If it didn’t go well today, that’s okay, we can always try again tomorrow. 

Posted on by — Leave a comment

10 Toddler Potty Training Tips

How to support your toddler to take care of their own hygiene

Yes, we said potty training but really, we would prefer “potty learning”. Potty learning puts the adult into the role of both teacher and learner and creates a partnership between the adult and child. While the child gets to learn how to use a potty, the adult assists the process once the child is ready to lead the way. 

Our Principal, Claire says;

As with every learning opportunity that takes place at Skye College, we follow the child. No child is forced to learn something they are not ready to embrace.

How to know your child is ready to begin using a potty/ toilet:

  • She is beginning to try to remove her pants and nappy without your help.
  • She is aware of her need to urinate or have a bowel movement (even if wearing a nappy) and she’ll tell you.
  • She is watched you or other family members use the toilet.
  • She sits on and tries to use the potty, e.g. before her bath in the evening.

At this stage go out a buy a potty. There are many choices of potties on the market. Many times, one has been given to you as a gift or you can go out with your child to choose their own potty. Most importantly go underwear shopping. Make a big deal of letting them choose their own special underwear. This will encourage them to take ownership and want to take care of their underwear. Allow your child time to explore the potty. They need to learn to sit on and get up from the potty independently.

Praise and encouragement are the most important part of any learning. At Skye College we believe in positive praise. When a child has used the toilet effectively (or gives a good effort), we clap hands, we give verbal praise to the child, and, in the case of a child who may have been struggling: a sticker. We do not generally use sticker charts as this can be very damaging to their self-esteem. They may see other children getting lots of stickers and they don’t which instills the idea of “I can’t do it”. This will not support positive development. 

Skye College bathrooms
Skye College bathrooms for littles

Signs of potty-learning readiness

Your child should display several of the below signs to indicate they are ready for the potty-learning journey:

  • Communication: Your child must be able to tell you that he/she needs the toilet / has a soiled nappy.
  • Less wet nappies: An average of 2-3 soiled nappies per day (indicates bladder control). 
  • Interest: Your child must show an active interest in using the toilet, i.e. he/she will follow you at home to the bathroom and be inquisitive about it, and is are excited about sitting on the potty.
  • Self-Awareness: When your child is starting to develop a self-awareness of what is happening in and around their bodies, they will, for example, realise they have a runny nose and will actively seek ways to deal with it (fetch a tissue or ask for their nose to be wiped). Your child must show signs of frustration and discomfort with wet nappies. 

Tip 1 – Get yourself ready.

You, the parent, have to be ready for this transition as well. Change your mindset around the frustration and know that even the accidents (as bothersome as they may be) are an important part of the learning process. Your toddler will mirror your feelings around this journey. It is important that we as parents do not stress them out during this time or we may prolong the process. 

Tip 2- Allow your toddler to choose their own potty and underwear.

Whether online or in a store, give your child two potty options to choose from. This empowers them with choice and creates excitement around using something they chose!

Potties should be made visible and easily accessible, usually in the bathroom or toilet area. Allow your child time to practice sitting on and getting off the potty – even if they don’t make use of it at first. 

It is important for your child to choose and go shopping for their own underwear. This further creates a sense of ownership and excitement about the process. 

Tip 3 – Buy the books and learn the songs.

Introduce the idea of your toddler using the potty with books and/or songs. This can help you to relate not only on their level, but make the process less daunting. 

Below are some tools online you might find to be useful:

Click on the above images to go to their links

Tip 4 – Switch from nappies to underwear.

The nappy is a safety blanket and while wearing it, your child may fall back to eliminating into the nappy. If your child has been practicing on the potty, displays signs of readiness and is comfortable wearing underwear, make the daytime switch from nappies to underwear.  

Soiled underwear is uncomfortable and sometimes cold which ignites a consciousness around the consequences of not using the potty. Don’t forget to allow your child to pick their own new underwear. This creates more excitement as they won’t want to wet their new underwear.

Tip 5 – Invite your toddler to your own toilet sessions.

Most of what our kids learn is through modelling the behaviour ourselves. Start talking about what you are doing in the bathroom when you use the toilet. Young boys benefit from watching their dad or older male sibling urinate. Note that boys often learn to urinate sitting down first, before standing up. 

Tip 6 – Don’t be in a hurry.

Being rushed may create a negative experience for your toddler. It often takes some time before toddlers are comfortable enough to  urinate or defecate while sitting on the potty. When they are practicing and getting used to the seated position, keep them entertained with a toy, book or video while on the potty.

Tip 7 – Be empowering with your language and tone. 

If your toddler has an accident, try saying “Your pants are wet. Looks like you had an accident. Let’s change and clean up.” Don’t panic, don’t show your frustration. Create a space that is safe for your toddler to make mistakes and learn from them .

Tip 8 – Celebrate the small wins!

“Well done! You noticed when you needed the potty, thank you so much for noticing that.”

Celebrate with your potty song and dance or parade and make a big deal of every little success – even just the identification of the need to go!

Tip 9 – Set your toddler up for success.

  • Put on easy to pull down clothes. Try and avoid dungarees, jumpsuits, button or zip down pants during this time.
  •  If your toddler is also engaging in potty learning at school, equip the teachers with easy to pull down clothes, updates on progress at home, and a couple of spare clothing sets. 
  • When starting out, discuss with your child all the steps involved in potty-learning: undressing, going, wiping, dressing, flushing and hand-washing. Show them each step and help them to practice the whole routine. 

We created potty training cue cards to stick up in the bathroom so that your little one can remember their potty routine!

Click here to download cue card printable

Tip 10 – Avoid bathroom battles.

If you are met with resistance from your toddler, it’s okay. You can try again tomorrow, next week or next month. There’s no set schedule and no pressure on your child to learn as soon as possible. Let your child show you when they are ready. Our experience has taught us that when a child is not ready, the process takes much longer than it should. 

Remember, potty learning is a partnership where WE are the junior partner. Our toddler is doing most of the work, we are just setting the stage. So, take it easy and remind yourself: “This too shall pass!”

 

Still feels daunting – speak to your class teacher – we’re here to help!

Posted on by

Bringing the calm of a Montessori education home.

Mom and dad, we invite you to pause.  There, where you are, in the thick of parenting and life.  Pause, for a moment, to consider the miracle of your child’s developing brain.

Your child’s brain is deeply extraordinary.  Your baby was born with approximately 100 billion neurons.  As an adult, you only have about half that many. 

Your child’s brain is a learning powerhouse.  It more than doubled its volume in the first three months and connections are forming now at a rate that will remain unrivalled in later life.  Even more incredible – this is not a passive process.  Children are actively involved in their own brain development.  They seek out the social and sensorial experiences that build healthy brains.

Maria Montessori’s work was guided by this insight, which reframes everything we do in parenting and education.  Your child is profoundly capable!  Your child is building their own brain!  Your job is to shape the environment so that it supports this natural development; to facilitate the sensorial and social experiences your child needs to thrive.  Your job is simply to create a safe space for your child’s developing brain at home.  Here are some thoughts on getting started.

Nurture and touch

“Of all things, love is the most potent.” – Maria Montessori.

Nurturing touch at school and at home is vital.  The research here is unambiguous.  Children who experience loving physical touch show improved and lasting cognitive development.  Children who experience above-average affection from their mothers are less likely to be hostile, anxious, or emotionally distressed as adults.  Receiving minimal touch as a child, on the other hand, is associated with long-lasting cognitive delays and aggression.  

Yes spaces

“The hands are the instruments of man’s intelligence.” – Maria Montessori.

Your child touches things because they are driven by the deep and important need for sensorial experience.  Your child is not just messing around… they are engaging in the important work of building their brain.  To support your child, create yes-spaces around your home.  Yes-spaces are areas your child can freely explore without fear of breaking anything, getting into trouble, or hurting themselves. 

Remember to view your home from your child’s perspective.  You might be surprised at what you notice when you get down to see things as they do… One mom we know discovered a mysterious space (cave) under a cabinet where her son (pirate) had stashed all her teaspoons (treasure).    

Productive struggle

“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.” – Maria Montessori.

The comedian Michael McIntyre has his audience in fits when he proclaims, talking to expectant couples, that they have no idea how difficult things will become when they have kids.  “Things you don’t even consider to be things will become nearly impossible… like leaving the house.”  We’ve all been there.  We often respond by doing things for our kids and, of course, that is often appropriate.  It is important to remember, however, that your child builds their brain through productive struggle.  When you can, design some time into your schedule to allow your child to do things for themselves – even to help you out.  Their confidence and independence will soar.

Follow your child

“Follow the child, but follow the child as her leader.” – Maria Montessori.

You don’t share your child’s passion for dinosaurs / dead bugs / the dog’s tail.  We get it…  Following the child is simply about respect.  Remember that, in all these things, your child is building their future self.  Your child is unfolding their unique personality.  Allow yourself to know them and be fascinated.  Here are four simple things you can do tomorrow…

  • Observe.  Following the child requires, firstly, that we learn to observe without distraction.  Take a few minutes to simply watch your child at work and play – we guarantee that you will notice something new. 
  • Create a rich environment.  Provide opportunities to discover interests through books, experiences, and time in nature. 
  • Slow down.  Do not overschedule!  Your child does not need to be a soccer superstar AND chess whizz AND master chef AND programmer by the age of eight.  Allow your child the precious time and space to simply be. 
  • Respect.  Always respect your child’s choices and interests and, if you can, share in their joy.  Let them show you the wide and wonderful world (of sometimes icky things) they are discovering for the first time.    

Child-friendly order

“Order is one of the needs of life which, when it is satisfied, provides real happiness.” – Maria Montessori.

Order, for a child, is about more than mere tidiness.  Your child’s job is to make sense of the world.  To discover its properties, patterns and relationships.  Your child’s job is to find out where they belong.  This path of learning and development is more like that of a butterfly than that of a bullet.

When ordering spaces, remember your goals.  Ultimately, you want your child to develop competence and independence and to grow as an individual.  This means that your child’s things should be stored and displayed in ways that are inviting, encourages independence use and reflect their current development and interests.  The easiest way to achieve this is to limit the number of things your child can access at one time by rotating objects.  Providing simple categories your child can restore themselves is a good start.  Think “vehicles”, “people” and “animals” for toys.  Refrain from insisting that Silvanian Families are not “people”, but “animal-people”… you can work your way up to that.    

Let go of perfection.  Focus on kindness

“Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future… Let us treat them with all the kindness which we would wish to help to develop in them.” – Maria Montessori.

Have you ever considered the paradoxical truth that the “perfect parent” would be unable to truly prepare kids for life?  Life is messy and your kid is not perfect.  Luckily, being imperfect yourself, you are the perfect person to teach them how to be imperfect – gracefully!  Think about it this way…  if you never made any mistakes your child would never see resilience in the face of failure.  If you were always right, strong and in control your child would never see you model humility or be okay with weakness.  If you never had to accept help and grace from your child, your child would not experience the joy of such a kindness. 

Mom and dad, we invite you to give yourself a break.  Be human.  Do your best and, when you fail, apologise.  There are few lessons more valuable you could teach your child!